Perhaps no person can be a poet, or can even enjoy poetry, without a certain unsoundness of mind.
Thomas B, Macaulay
Copyright © Mike Shaffer, 2009


Candy Is Dandy
(8 of 12 stanzas)

Ain't now doubt, candy's dandy.
Can't eat enough of it.
If it's made with sugar'n chocolate,
Ya better believe I love it.

For my birthday just send me
A case of candy bars
Or some of those gummy things
Sold from big ole jars.

Let me chew on jelly beans,
Taffy and gum drops
Til my teeth are stuck together'n
My cheeks about to pop.

Fill my mouth with a couple packs
Of yummy bubble gum.
Let me chaw and squish it up
Until my mouth goes numb.

Stuff my cheeks with a bunch
Of super hot fireballs
Then watch out I don't get
Too close to you all.

Caramels, butter scotch,
Chocolate covered cherries,
Tootsie Rolls, M&Ms
And llittle sugar berries.

If it take ill, hook my veins
To bags of red Kool Aid.
Knock my fever, dunk me in
Some ice cream—dairy made.

When its time, I want to die
At a soda fountain
Then be burried underneath
A big rock candy mountain.




Shock Waves

Clock radios beside our beds
Their speakers fairly near our heads.

In the morning still at rest
They shock us into wakefulness.

Mine waits all night quite patiently
To play a song or buzz at me

Then pow, I hear some awful sound
As crashing waves go all around.

My mind is not all it can be
But slowly life descends on me.

I swing my arm to make it stop
And knock it off the table top.

I hurt my hand but do not care
Thinking why I put it there.

I don't throw it in the lake
I guess I'm glad to be awake.

The Beard

A grew a beard a week ago
To look like Paul Gauguin.

My wife though takes a different view—
I'm that homeless man.

COMIC VERSE—Especially humorous light verse, casual, often inconsistant, quirky and trite. Includes, satire, parody, limericks and the like. At times irreverent, loose, ruffled approaching doggerel. Popular in the early American West.

E W Shaffer

Poetry & Prose