E W Shaffer

Poetry & Prose

Light verse need not be funny, but what no verse can afford to be is unfunny....
Kingsley Amis in "The New Oxford Book of Light Verse," 1978
Copyright © Mike Shaffer, 2009


(Selected verses)

Operating systems with their
Clicks and double clicks
Enable us to surf the net
For serious and for kicks.

Cyber-techno-Jibber jabber
on the internet,
Stuff on your computer screen
You'd just as soon forget.

Make a fortune, lose some weight
Buy things really fast.
jJunk e-mail in your computer.
Pray it doesn't last.

Bauds and mega-giga bytes
Flying round the planet
Transceiving server JAVA bits.
I can't understand it.

RAIDS and RISCS, UPS and downs,
T-C-Ps and U-R-Ls,
H-T-T-P dot coms.

Cool web sites beyond belief
Managed by their masters,
Video with stereo,
Sound from sounder blasters.

Computers used for everything
At home, at work, at play.
My brain goes numb from looking at
Computer screens all day.



Modern Poetry

The work of modern poets
Makes me scratch my head.
I can't figure what they're saying, or
When I've read it, what they've said.

They jumble up the words they use
They don't make any sense.
They write in obscure languages;
Maybe I'm just dense.

"Cry me, struggle, let it out.
Dead emotions bloom.
The god of little cold things
Dissolves across the room.

"My heart grows insulated from
The answers in her hand.
His body lights the teapots while
Her fear eats at the sand."

What are modern poets doing?
They're making history.
If you can reckon what it means
Explain it please to me.

(After roadside ads from the 1930s)

Too much hair
Upside your head?
Why not shave
It off instead!

Burma Shave

LIGHT VERSE—Wide variety of writings generally humorous and rhyming, sometimes with wordplay and puns related to amusing or absurd situations. Rarely sad, often clever. Popular in ancient times and in early British and American literature. Can include song lyrics and informal works for children.